Hi and welcome to the first edition of back logged posts I should have put up a long time ago. I could give you a bunch of excuses as to why I never got around to posting these until now but let’s just say I was abducted and woke up in a field last week confused and with three mysterious dots underneath my left eye. I may never know what happened to me over the last year but that’s for our alien overlords to know now. And with that, let’s continue onward to the post!
Last summer my good friend Ian and I traveled westward to find a sandwich so rare that it wasn’t even listed on the menu. In fact, news of this sandwich only traveled by word of mouth and by possible Sherpa. In fact, I would have never crossed paths with this donut if it weren’t for Ian and his equal passion for baked goods. It was located at the Mustard Seed, which was an unassuming deli in the middle of Bristol. Unfortunately for all those reading this, the Mustard Seed closed down a few months ago, making it exceedingly hard, if not impossible, to get one of these sandwiches but maybe if you and I are lucky we can convince the good people at Federal Donuts to whip up the specialty for a new era of “so wrong, but so right” sandwich.
So we went into the Mustard Seed and asked the woman behind the counter for the glazed egg and cheese donut sandwich. You read that right. Glazed. Egg and cheese. Donut. Sandwich. It was the most fattening thing I have ever ordered and it caught the attention of my fellow customers who had never seen two people order a glazed donut egg sandwich before. I felt like a part of the donut Illuminati, as though just saying the words out loud was a world wide conspiracy, hidden and protected by hundreds of years of secrecy. It was an uneasy moment where I felt as though Jay-Z could roll up in a black Escalade to smack the sandwich out of hands any at moment.
We waited only a few minutes and our sandwiches were ready for inevitable consumption. The ‘bread’ of the sandwich was a homemade glazed donut that the deli had delivered fresh from a bakery close by. The ‘meat’ of the sandwich was a fresh scramble of eggs with a blanket of American cheese laid over top. Ian chose to order his with sausage as well. I’m almost positive that you could have ordered anything you wanted to top this sandwich off with–being that they had it in the deli. Bacon, multiple layers of cheese, ham, hamburger, hotdog, an entire pig. You know, whatever you little heart desires and what your little arteries will hate you for later.
So I’m just going to put it out there–this sandwich was unbelievable. It might not look like much but the combination of the sweet glazed donut and the saltiness of the egg and cheese was melt in your mouth good. I saw past lives by just biting into it. It’s was like all of my dead grandparents were standing around me, proudly putting their hands on my shoulders and whispering “That’ll do, Maureen. That’ll do.”
It was hands down the best tasting sandwich I have ever had the pleasure of consuming all while simultaneously being the worst for me. But despite all of the after effects–the residual drowsiness, questions of self worth, and shame, it was well worth it. I would hands down recommend this sandwich to anyone out there willing to try it, but given that the Mustard Seed is now closed, the donut sandwich may just fall into obscurity. The owners of the Mustard Seed are much like the old lady at the end of Titanic when she decides to throw the hope diamond into the ocean instead of placing it in a museum, further depriving the world of a lost treasure. Maybe they didn’t want to do it, but they knew it had to happen, and now only James Cameron and an expedition of food historians can change that now.
So with that, I give it 5 stars for the execution, the unexpected deliciousness, and now the rarity of the sandwich. Someday we’ll meet again, glazed egg and cheese donut sandwich. Someday.